Autobiography

I married at around age 21, separated a couple years later, and finalized the divorce many years after that. After the separation, I moved across the country to the Rocky Mountain region. I remarried, then divorced again in 2005. My son was born in January of 2001, 3 weeks ahead of schedule, on the day after my first anniversary...surprise! My daughter was born in the beginning of November of 2003. I met my wonderful husband online, and imported him from Sweden. We have been together since 2007.

History

In brief--there are more details on other areas of this site. I was a bright, active, and curious kid--but rather socially inept. For whatever reason, I didn't hit it off with others. Perhaps they sensed something different in me, and reacted to that, I am not really sure. Whatever the reason, I spent my childhood with a few close friends, and as the pariah of the schoolyard. This was a stress, but perhaps because I'd not experienced the alternative, it didn't actually hurt me. I did develop a bit of misanthropy. I think I was born a were...I always had a strong connection to animals, and my ability to mentally shift emerged in relatively early childhood. I was not, however, psychically active.

That didn't happen until I hit my teens, and it happened simultaenously with the first big ol' shock of my life--vampirism. Let me tell you, it is not a fun thing, to go through puberty and then go through THAT right afterward, like "just when you thought things couldn't get any worse". As if having your body rebel in an understandable fashion were not enough, having it do things NO one understands is a great deal worse. I survived it, anyhow, and also became interested in and began to study and practice Wicca. By the time I left High School I was a fair hand with it, and a few years later certainly I was a high priestess. Then came marriage, the one that eventually failed. During that time, I diverged into other esoteric practices, incorporating them into my own--I was very eclectic. Then I met a fellow online who simply called himself a psion.

He was in a Wicca chat room, being a pain. Ok, that'd been a bit of a hobby of mine, too--I had some disagreements with some of the more common attitudes, and liked to shake people out of their dogma and try to get them to think. We became friends, and I began to learn a bit about psionics.

He thought real vampirism was an interesting sort of phenomenon. I liked his very straightforward, no-mysticism approach to energy working. Then he answered the question I'd been trying to answer for many years--what is vampirism, what causes it? He'd noticed a common characteristic in blood vampires such as myself, comparing several of them. And that gave me the answer to it, right there. I investigated this immediately, and was able to find several incidences to corroborate it--so it must be the real answer. That is detailed on my Parazoology site.

Now I had a decision before me. With a failing marriage, and in very poor health (I made a bad vampire, I simply didn't have what it takes to deal with it), I now had a choice I'd never had before. I could get rid of it--maybe. It might be dangerous to try, but there it was. And hey, one of my other online friends who lived in the same area as the one I now considered my mentor suddently invited me to his graduation party, right out of the blue. But I didn't have the money to get there...that's all right, he'd pay my way.

Well. There's a case for insanity, right there. I picked up my Western Union, and got on a Greyhound bus, traveling 1200 miles across the US to meet people I had never before met face to face. A longer journey than any I had been on since I was an infant. They met me at the bus stop, and I recognized them right away. I stayed at my mentor's house, celebrated the graduation, and afterward went to the Colorado Howl, a camping trip organized by some local weres. I had time to reflect, up there, and to clear my head. After that came the second big event in my life.

Upon returning, I decided to stay for a while--in no hurry to return to a broken home, after all. And I brought up something my mentor had mentioned to me before. He was a type of born-psi known as a phoenix. To my understanding, that meant a person who simply generates extremely large quantities of energy, and tends to be territorial and aggressive. There was a way for a phoenix to give others the same capability, and it was called transmutation. He'd never tried it before, but he'd seen others do it. Before I'd left, he'd offered to try it out on me, with the notion that it might help with the problems I'd faced, particularly the emotional stress. Now that I was there, face to face, I asked him to give it a try--who knows, maybe it would give me the strength to learn to deal with the vampirism.

That turned out to be a very naive notion. The actual process was no more than holding out my hand while he put in the programming and an enormous quantity of energy...it felt to me like I'd been given a piece of the sun, but without burning. Not too long after that, the nerve spasms began, with annoying regularity. The spirit entity was not compatible with such high levels of psi energy, and it protested by sending shocks through my nervous system. Now I had to choose. By this point the choice was easy. Transmutation involves an enormous amount more than I realized it would, and it altered my personality significantly. The vampyr symbiont now seemed precisely like the intruder that it was, and I asked if he could remove it.

He didn't seem too happy about that, as there was no way of knowing how much risk was involved, but he agreed. More details on that are also on the other site. With the beastie gone, I returned home, and got a temp job to save up money--I intended to move. I'd found a roomate out there, and there was nothing keeping me in Michigan any longer. Besides, I'd fallen in love with the mountains. So, 6 months of mood swings later (transmutation can be rough), I moved to the Rockies for good.

About a year later, I met another friend I'd known online, and a couple years after that, we were married. Our son was born at the end of January, in 2001, my daughter in the beginning of November, 2003. We then divorced, because he decided he had the 7 year itch or something, and then a few years later, came out as transgender. I've been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and applied for disability, but was turned down. With the help of friends, I was able to start a home-based business selling metaphysical items, and set up to begin breeding ball pythons. A couple of years later, I received a court date for my appeal for disability.  You can imagine my rage.  

I met my husband online, and our relationship evolved, until he came to meet me in person (and go to Eye in the Sky).  I then went to Sweden to visit him as well, and we made plans to marry.  He moved to the US, and we got married, and have been happily married ever since.  (It took a ridiculous three years for him to get permanent residence finalized).

You might, perhaps, wonder why I'd be willing to put all of this out here in public.  The answer is, I don't have anything to hide.  If I become a super-famous author, I'm sure a large portion of the populace will believe me to be insane, but so what?  In reality, they would have dug this stuff up anyhow, and then it would have looked as though I didn't want it known, when in reality, I don't care.  So, enjoy knowing.